Introduction: The Debate Over Kink at Pride
In 2019, a viral tweet sparked a heated debate within the LGBTQ+ community. A Twitter user implored Pride attendees not to bring their "kinks/fetishes" to Pride, citing the presence of minors and arguing that this would sexualize the event. What followed was a passionate discussion, with some agreeing that displays of kink or BDSM gear at Pride could make people uncomfortable or violate their consent. Others, however, defended kink as an integral part of LGBTQ+ history and Pride celebrations, with some arguing that normalizing sexuality, including kink, is a fundamental goal of Pride.
This debate over whether kink, BDSM, and leather culture have a place at Pride raises important questions. Beyond the immediate reactions, this issue touches on deeper themes of LGBTQ+ identity, history, and the purpose of Pride itself. This article will explore why these subcultures have historically been part of the LGBTQ+ movement, the role they play in today’s Pride celebrations, and why their inclusion remains essential.
The Historical Roots of Kink and BDSM in the LGBTQ+ Movement
To understand the relevance of kink and BDSM at Pride, it's important to look at the roots of the LGBTQ+ rights movement. Pride, as we know it today, originated from the 1969 Stonewall Riots, a turning point in the fight for LGBTQ+ liberation. However, even before Stonewall, there were tensions within the movement between those who sought to assimilate into mainstream, cis-heteronormative society and those who embraced radical resistance.
Kink, leather, and BDSM communities often fell into the latter camp. For many, queerness was about much more than romantic love or sexual orientation—it also involved subverting societal norms around sexuality and pleasure. Queer spaces, in the pre-Pride era, were not just bars, but also cruising spots, bathhouses, dungeons, and public restrooms. These were places where LGBTQ+ individuals could explore their desires freely, away from the judgment of mainstream society.Amber Hollibough, a queer sex activist and author, pointed out that for many in the LGBTQ+ community, sexual desire and erotic identity are at the core of their experiences. In her book My Dangerous Desires, she writes, “For some people, gay rights and gay liberation do not hinge on particulars of sexual desire. But, for many of us, it does begin there, does revolve around the ways we organize our erotic choices.” Hollibough’s words underscore the point that for many queer people, kink and sexual identity are deeply intertwined.
Kink, BDSM, and Leather Culture: A Part of Queer Community Building
While mainstream depictions of BDSM may focus on its sexual aspects, for many in the queer community, kink and leather lifestyles are about much more than sex. These subcultures have long emphasized community, service, and consent. In fact, many of the principles that guide BDSM—such as risk-aware consensual kink (RACK) and safe, sane, and consensual (SSC) play—mirror broader queer values around respect, mutual care, and bodily autonomy.
In the 1980s, when the AIDS crisis devastated the LGBTQ+ community, leather and BDSM subcultures played an important role in supporting those affected. Members of the leather community were some of the first to raise funds for medical bills, care for ailing LGBTQ+ people, and provide the human touch and connection that society at large denied to those suffering from AIDS. These efforts earned them recognition from the city of San Francisco, where the leather community's contributions to AIDS support and safe sex advocacy were formally honored.Beyond this, the leather community has built lasting traditions of chosen family and mutual support. This aspect of the culture is about creating relationships built on trust, love, and care. As Sunny Hitching, a second-generation queer individual raised by kinky, poly parents, put it, “There’s a very big difference between people who want to spice things up and people who are literally part of a culture that has been here for decades.” These communities have existed for generations and have helped build the modern LGBTQ+ movement.
The Role of Kink at Pride: Sexual Liberation and Radical Protest
The exclusion of kink from Pride events would also ignore a critical part of Pride's purpose: celebrating radical sexual liberation. Brenda Howard, often called the “Mother of Pride,” was a proud member of the LGBTQ+ kink scene. Howard helped organize some of the earliest Pride marches and wore a button reading, “Bi, Poly, Switch — I’m not greedy. I know what I want.” Howard and others like her fought for the idea that sexual freedom—whether it be through polyamory, BDSM, or other forms of erotic expression—was fundamental to LGBTQ+ liberation. Groups like the Lesbian Sex Mafia and Samois, both of which were founded in the 70s and 80s, were early proponents of inclusive, sex-positive feminism. These groups, composed of queer women, not only fought for sexual empowerment but also for the inclusion of BDSM and kink within feminist spaces. They gave queer women a sense of community and empowerment in a world that denied them those very things. The idea that kink and leather should be excluded from Pride is, in many ways, a rejection of the contributions these communities have made to LGBTQ+ rights.
Public Displays of Kink: Consent, Taboo, and Double Standards
One of the primary arguments against the presence of kink at Pride is that it violates the consent of others, especially minors who may be present at the event. However, as June Amelia Rose, a writer and transsexual leatherdyke, points out, this idea reflects a broader societal discomfort with queerness and sexuality. “Simply being kinky or sexual in public is not a violation of consent,” Rose explains. “I didn’t consent to see the rainbow cops.”
Rose’s argument highlights a double standard in how society views public expressions of sexuality. Heteronormative public displays of affection—such as a straight couple kissing in a park—rarely elicit the same level of scrutiny or outrage. However, when a queer person wears fetish gear or engages in consensual BDSM play, it is often labeled as “inappropriate” or “dangerous.” This discrepancy reveals deeper societal prejudices around queerness and sexual expression.Sunny Hitching, who grew up in a queer, kinky household, adds that children can understand the difference between consensual, adult sexual expression and inappropriate behavior. “My understanding of BDSM is actually very far from sexual, because everything that I saw as a kid wasn’t sexualized to me,” Hitching explains. This point underscores the fact that young LGBTQ+ people are capable of understanding complex issues around sexuality and consent.
Kink and Queerness: Intersecting Identities and Liberation
For many LGBTQ+ individuals, kink is not just a form of sexual expression but a key part of their identity. June Rose explains how kink helped her navigate her identity as a trans woman. “Kink intersects with and informs my transsexuality and my womanhood and my lesbianism,” she says. “It’s sacrilegious to admit now, but the first time I saw myself reflected before mainstream trans exposure was in BDSM porn.”
For individuals like Rose, kink offers a space to explore and affirm their gender and sexual identities in ways that mainstream society often denies them. Excluding kink from Pride would erase the experiences of those who have found community and self-acceptance within these subcultures.
Conclusion: Why Kink Belongs at Pride
At its core, Pride is about celebrating the diversity of the LGBTQ+ community and resisting societal norms that seek to shame or marginalize queer people. Kink, leather, and BDSM have played an essential role in the history of LGBTQ+ liberation, and their inclusion at Pride is not about shocking or offending others—it is about honoring the radical sexual freedom that has always been at the heart of the queer rights movement.When we bring our kinks and fetishes to Pride, it’s not about imposing our desires on others. It’s about celebrating the many ways people experience their queerness and forging connections to the history of sexual liberation that Pride was founded upon. Excluding these communities would be a disservice to the rich and varied history of LGBTQ+ resistance, and their place at Pride should be recognized and respected.
This article was inspired by/based on "Why Kink, BDSM and Leather should be included at Pride" published on www.them.us